Jalen J.

Argument Writing

Did you know that a Hershey milk chocolate bar contains 24 grams of sugar and 13 grams of fat? Like many, this fifth grade researcher was astonished by the fact and felt the need to share the news. Though some would say that some sugar has a place in a healthy person's diet, after lots of research, this fifth grade expert can tell you too much is not good. In addition, according to Sarah Wassner, writer of The Scary Truth About Sugar, the average American consumes 3 pounds of sugar each week! You might wonder what makes up some of this sugar. Guess what! It’s candy! Actually, no matter how much money they have, most Americans will always spend their extra money on candy. The research is clear, from the sugar problems to extra money spending, Hershey and Mars should change their candies.

One reason Hershey and Mars should change their candies is because some of them don’t have cocoa. Cocoa has many health benefits that the growing companies should consider putting in other candies. For example, dark chocolate decreases risk of heart attack or stroke by 39%. Yay, for chocolate! This is important because if people eat just any candy without a little, or a lot, of dark chocolate, they’re just eating extra sugar and calories. I mean, you don’t want to die from heart attack or stroke, right! Also, an ingredient in chocolate, phenylethylamine, improves your mood. That explains why so many people like chocolate. It boosts your mood! Maybe, if you put more of it in chocolate , everybody will like your candy more and you’ll have better sales. It’s a win-win! In addition, chocolate increases blood flow and helps with loss of memory. Chocolate not only will make people excited and happy, it will make them healthy, too. Imagine eating a chocolate bar with absolutely no guilt because you know it has good things in it, like phenylethylamine, to make you healthy and happy!

Another reason that Hershey and Mars should change their candies is because they are using irresponsible manufacturing practices. For example, 1.8 million children are forced to work in West Africa to process the cocoa Mars and Hershey use. Many of them work in unsafe conditions. This is horrible! Why don’t they just have grownups make the cocoa? Adults will know how to properly manufacture the cocoa and they have more stamina and work ability. Using 1,800,000 children is just cruel. Some aren’t even safe there! This is a great example of why we should stop child labor. Actually, some of the kids are helping their parents, but some are ripped from their families, made to drop out of school, and have been kidnapped to work without pay. This is another reason these practices are so mean! Education and family is important; they shape children’s lives. Because of this, child labor is keeping them from a happy future. In addition, Tom Harkin, a U.S. Senator,, feels strongly about child labor in West Africa. He put into action the Harkin-Ensil protocol to stop Hershey and Mars from using child labor. Progress has been made using the Harkin-Ensil protocol, “But it has not come quickly enough.” Harkin says. He is putting pressure on the huge candy companies to stop what they are doing and it might be working. But Harkin said in his statement that the progress hasn’t come quickly enough. In other words, he thinks it might be too late to stop child labor. In order to let the companies keep making the candies we love without hurting anyone, we need to stop them from using child labor. Now.

Finally, Mars and Hershey need to change their candies because they have sugar. According to a study in the journal BMC Public Health, sugar is the only cause of tooth decay in kids and adults. Did you hear that! The only cause of tooth decay is sugar. Can you imagine all those poor children eating delicious candy not even knowing it’s the main cause of their cavities! These candy companies need to cut down on sugar. According to scientist Nicole Avena, ”The more sugar we eat, the more we want.” You might not believe it, but it’s true. Sugar contains dopamine which triggers a reward system in the brain that makes us want more of it. Imagine getting that tooth decay and wanting more sugar! That’s lots of dental problems; think about how horrible your teeth will end up! In addition, fructose, half of normal table sugar, only contributes to weight gain. All this sugar not only is bad for your teeth, but they also make you fat. That is really bad for you! Imagine if you ate a Hershey Bar a week, you would gain about 52 grams of fat a month just from that Hershey Bar! Probably the most important reason Hershey and Mars need to cut down sugar is that the American Heart Association recommends only 4 teaspoons of sugar a day, but there are more than 4 teaspoons of sugar in most candy! Specifically, there are 5 teaspoons (25 grams) of sugar in a York Peppermint Patty and 6 teaspoons (30 grams) in a small package of M&M’s. A handful of tiny little circles causing maybe 2 or 3 cavities! This is a big problem. If Mars and Hershey are going to put 30 grams of sugar into 17 little circles as big as your fingernail, their sugar obsession needs to stop.

Hershey and Mars might say that the child labor in West Africa is being worked on and that they have made progress. But forcing 1.8 million children to do something unwillingly and without pay is unforgivable and unbelievably cruel. Besides, according to Tom Harkin, the “progress” they claim hasn’t come quickly enough. My personal experience supports my argument. My family and I have had lots of experience with dental work. We’ve dealt with expanders, bars, headgear, bands, and braces. We all know how bad sugar and cavities are for your health and to learn so many bad things about candy is really upsetting. The evidence is clear: if we are going to enjoy our treasured candy, we need to make some changes first!